Your boyfriend reminds me of rhubarb he’s not just tall, slim, zesty and keen, but rhubarb complements ginger so it’s clear that you’d be a good team. His roots are firmly in Yorkshire’s soil: the rhubarb triangle, his home. Even the EU has now conceded that God’s Own Country is also his own. … Continue reading
Tag Archives: poem
Your boyfriend reminds me of Scotland
Your boyfriend reminds me of Scotland: he’s rugged and brave to the hilt. Also, I can’t help but notice that he’d look rather good in a kilt. His hist’ry is one of long struggles for independence, once hard fought. ‘Twas in this tumultuous milieu your harmonious bond was wrought. But I fear you take him … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of Bruce Willis
Your boyfriend reminds me of Bruce Willis in his role as John McClane (he’s on the small screen almost daily – it’s that festive time again). He’s a quick-thinking, man of action, ironic: “yippee-ki-yay”. And though the odds are stacked against him your lone hero saves the day. Who knows? One day “to serve and protect” … Continue reading
Your girlfriend reminds me of Angela Merkel
Your girlfriend (fashionista, über- cool, tanned, blonde and far too thin) reminds me of Angela Merkel the Bundeskanzlerin. Do they both love recycling and spend their Sundays hugging trees? Were both their fathers Luth’ran pastors? Did they both gain PhDs? No, but what they both fear, though in quite a diff’rent manifestation, in … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of Ed Miliband
Your boyfriend reminds me of Ed Miliband: I’m unsure of his position – is he Prime Minister of your heart, or leader of the opposition? Frankly, I don’t care if he’s “red” or “blue,” just answer this question for me: in the contest for ruler of your heart, would he win a majority? See, it’s … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of Clark Kent
Apologies for the long hiatus; fortunately it was time well spent in meeting plenty more unsuitable boyfriends for the blog. First up, Clark Kent: Your boyfriend reminds me of Clark Kent: his feet aren’t always on the ground. In times of crisis, when the going’s tough, he’s simply nowhere to be found. You say that … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of Ebenezer Scrooge
Your boyfriend reminds me of Ebenezer Scrooge in everything but his name: when I watched Muppets’ Christmas Carol last I mistook him for Michael Caine. Successful and minted, but miserly. Charity? He gives not a jot. All he cares about is the bottom line: a philanthropist, he is not. The man doesn’t appreciate Christmas! Your … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of graphene
Your boyfriend reminds me of graphene the Nobel Prize-winning stuff: flexible, transparent and stable it just can’t be praised enough. Ever since you first discovered him in a Mancunian physics lab he’s wowed us with his vast potential it seems he really could be fab. But I think you need to give him some time, … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of Simon Cowell
Your boyfriend reminds me of Simon Cowell, by which I do not only mean, his teeth are so white when you turn out the light you must think it’s Halloween. He seems to be living proof that culture has reached its very lowest ebb; just one evening in his company and I’m reassured that art … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of James Bond
Your boyfriend reminds me of James Bond, but minus the licence to kill. He’s a man of much experience and looks sharp in his tuxedo still. But, have you noticed that he treats women with so very little respect? Clearly the feminist movement is an alien concept to him yet. For him it’s just a … Continue reading
Your boyfriend reminds me of 